It might not seem obvious to you as your dog could be subtly displaying the signals. Not all conflict is loud or physical. Nor is it restricted to nervous dogs alone. There are so many things your dog could feel conflicted about and it’s a stress that we can do our best to help relieve. It can also lead to our dogs making the wrong decisions and ending up scared, upset or hurt. They may react suddenly on the spur of the moment if it all gets a bit too stressful for them to handle.
So what common things might your dog feel conflicted about?
There are some common scenarios I see in dogs who feel conflicted:
Food - this is a super common source of conflict in dogs who are nervous of people. It’s often mistaken to let the person the dog is fearful of to feed them a treat but all this does it create conflict and pressure on the dog. Think of of it like this; there’s a lovely bar of chocolate with a tarantula next to it. You want the chocolate but the risk of the spider makes you hesitate.
Dogs - dogs who lack the best social skills might feel conflict when dogs approach, particularly if they are on the lead or restricted. When a dog sees other dogs playing and wants to join in but then instantly regrets it the moment they get involved.
Equipment - getting out your dogs lead and/or harness is usually indicates that it’s time for walkies. This creates a great deal of excitement but if a dog isn’t too keen on having their lead or collar on due to negative exposure or ill fitting, they will become conflicted weighing up the prospect of walkies vs. uncomfortable equipment.
People - some dogs might love the idea of cuddling you or having a scratch but find the reality a bit overwhelming and find themselves stuck. Dogs are social animals and we have manipulated them over the centuries to want to be affectionate but not every dog is comfortable and some lack the confidence to say ‘no, thank you.’
So what does conflict look like?
It’s not always so obvious as two dogs duking it out. Conflict starts much more subtly and we often mistake it for something else.
Stretching forward while keeping their rear feet planted back.
Whining and staring at the conflicting thing.
Head turning away from what’s causing the conflict.
Curled spine leaving the dog hunched over.
Tucked tail often accompanied by fast small tail wags.
Crabbing their walk to present their side to the conflict.
Approaching and retreating from the conflicting thing repeatedly.
We can help reduce conflict in our dogs lives very easily. The biggest thing you can do is listen to your dog and allow them to make a no-pressure choice. They might not know what it is they want so it is up to us to help them by removing the root cause of the conflict.
We should get our dogs checked for pain and discomfort. When a dog is in pain, they can exhibit many of the behaviours listed above. If you can imagine being in a form of constant pain, how much that would limit your willingness to exert yourself, lower your trust in other things, people or dogs incase they set the pain off.
We then need to work on no longer making our dogs feel that conflict with training things like confidence, manners, social skills and desensitisation. Advocate for our dogs when they are clearly conflicted and help them towards the right decision.
Watch your dog for a couple days and see if you notice them have anything creating a conflict.
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